Love from Shelby

Hey everybody,
So last time I wrote it really sucked to put it nicely. I wasn't doing so well and depressed and feeling poopish. Since then I've moved out on my own for university. Living off campus with a lovely lady. Life is getting better, but I really have to work at it. I'm still very lonely, sad and unhappy but things are getting better. And atleast I'm not depressed anymore, I have alot I'm grateful for now :) I live in a really beautiful city and I'm absolutely loving the university and course I'm in. So things do get better they just don't seem to come so easily. Which I guess is better, I wouldn't want to be like those people who have everything and don't work for it. But it's tough. I feel like I've grown up overnight; I knew I would. The thing about me is that I was always grown up in the mature 'mental' sense just I wasn't independent but people relate that with maturity and growing up. So now my psychological maturity matches my independence. Ha if that makes sense.

I've been listening to this song non-stop all day :
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tcZoNBngAnM

And a bunch of other country songs. I know alot of people don't like country but to be honest I find country artists are alot of the most talented people. And most of them write their own music or also play instruments. They just have a way with words and with expressing themselves in a language that no other music I have listened to does. Other music is fun but it isn't soulful it doesn't tell a story. And has anyone noticed that like 100% of other music is about girl/boy love where as about like 60% of country is and the other is songs about tons of different and unique subjects. I really love it; when everything else in life seems meaningless and empty just listen to country music. Honestly I love Martina McBride anyways but that song just warms my heart and brings tears to my eyes, it's everything I think about just summed into a song... don't we all want someone ... "you're the dream that I've been chasing... you're a standing ovation after years of waiting for a chance to finally shine" Like honestly just words for the soul.

I realized the only time, only time ever that my mind is not madly racing with thoughts aobut analyzing everything in the entire world... the only time is when i'm listening to music like this... That must be why I love music so much... time stops for me. I've always had this serious annoyance of thinking 25/8 honestly it's no wonder my mind doesn't explode with the amount of things going on in it. I never don't think about anything. it's really messed up because it doesn't sound annoying but really I don't think most people are actually analyzing things every second of the day. But my stupid mind just works like that :P I'm a thinker and I can't help it.

Anyways this is a very messy blog but oh well... that's how my mind works.

Haha just on a funny note:

I was walking home alone about 11 last night and it's quite sketchy I must admit. Especially for me a country girl, to be walking alone in a city. So I pulled out my cell phone and had a fake phone conversation for 45 minutes and I put on a completely fake english accent. I know it sounds so pathetic but the funnest thing ever!!! So I highly recommend that you try it because it is way too much fun. By the end of the 45 minutes I had like the awesomest english accent perfected. And I was getting sooo many looks from people haha it was amazing :P

Lots of love, I'll check in soon <3

Toodle-loo
~The Shelby I've always wanted to be~ (if that makes sense;)

I'm back [kinda]

Hey Guys!
It's been a lloonnggggg time!
What's happened since thn [at least for me]:

• started uni, already swamped with icky things; add the pressure from the 'rents = disaster waiting to happen.
• i got the CUTEST teddy dog puppy thing EVER :P he's so soft. ima name him Suli! :D
• Ramadan came and went, Eid was last weekend. the norm occurred :P nothing too interesting. the libyan party is this coming weekend, but i dont wanna/can't really go :P
• I've had four cavities filled [horrible i know, but these are my very first cavities xD]
• A slug pooped on my chem notes
• I rearranged my room
  
• I don't sleep

lol nothing much has happened :P or maybe i just don't remember.
I'm going to try to post more :P HOPEFULLY shelby will too xD :P

I miss telling this blog how my life is going xD
i WILL ttyl!

lots of love!
fatima

You look like something that I pulled out of my shower drain...

Hello,

This is Shelby. I haven't written a blog in so long but I am going to start again as a means of Fatima and I keeping in contact. I am extremely depressed lately so if this blog is horrible, I apologize in advance. I'm actually pretty sure that I suffer from "depression" but I just tell myself to suck it up and I can't be bothered going to a doctor to get it diagnosed or whatever they do because I think it's just pathetic. It's one of those things I think someone just wanted to feel special so they decided it would be a recognized medical condition.

Quickly I will try to sum up what's been up with me and I will attempt to do so in a positive manner. This was my last summer of 'freedom' if you will. In four days time I will be moving far away from everything familiar and close to my heart. I am excited about it, I truly am just this depression is consuming me and I can't seem to feel happy or good about it at the moment, but I know I'm excited. So I tried to spend this summer having fun, guess I did.

Fuck I'm just getting really depressed, idk if I can finish this.

So I basically wasted July just gardening and working at the football stadium and then in august I got a camp counselling job and a tutoring job and a bakery job. All of which are finished by the end of this week, pretty much. They've all been meh, I can't really talk about it or I'll get upset.

So I'm leaving monday I guess. I'm not going to go to Frosh week and I again can't explain or I'll get depressed.

Broke up with my bf, yeah so just stuff has been happening...

ugh i g2g I'm getting too upset. bye

Louboutin

aww hi guys!

we have SO not blogged in a LONG time

*cough*btw i just have to type this so called confessional; altho seriously :P it turns out that i dont keep many secrets - i've told some of my friends almost all my confessions*cough*

anyway :P funny conversation happened between a friend and moi over these SEXY pair of louboutin. retail: $1 995.00

i know xD

(F) ~~D.X.~~ (F) says: (7:09:11 PM)
lol and okay enough with the bootboot
(F) ~~D.X.~~ (F) says: (7:09:23 PM)
LOOK AT THE PRICE TOOMY
f.a.t.oo.m.y says: (7:09:29 PM)
*ahem*
(F) ~~D.X.~~ (F) says: (7:09:29 PM)
WHAT KIND OF GUY WOULD BUY YOU THOSE
f.a.t.oo.m.y says: (7:09:34 PM)
PFFT
f.a.t.oo.m.y says: (7:09:39 PM)
i'd buy them myself thank you very much
(F) ~~D.X.~~ (F) says: (7:09:50 PM)
O.O EVEN DOCTORS DON'T THROW MONEY LIKE THAT
f.a.t.oo.m.y says: (7:09:53 PM)
and if my bf/fiancé/husband wanted to buy them for me :P
f.a.t.oo.m.y says: (7:09:57 PM)
well thats good too xD
(F) ~~D.X.~~ (F) says: (7:10:01 PM)
oh gee

F) ~~D.X.~~ (F) says: (7:10:12 PM)
xD he better be loaded
(F) ~~D.X.~~ (F) says: (7:10:17 PM)
or really good at buying fakes

bahaaaa o man

i love boys :P

lurve,

fatima

Disgusting Cannibalistic Hunger for Soccer Players

LOL

so a friend of mine was like 'happy birthday'

and i said 'nooo i'm 18, i'm so old'

and thn he writes:

also, I'll bet at this point, you can feel your body and your mind slowly start to deteriorate as you approahce your inevitable death.... one toxin-filled breath at a time. Soon, you won't be able to walk on your own, and you'll need to drive around in one of those electric wheelchairs. And not even one of the good ones; a really cheap, used, decrepid one that smells of the B.O. of a man who was well-acquainted with McDonalds's. Then your memory will fade, and everyday, you'll have the duty of finding out who you are and what your purpose is. And everyday, you won't find one. Until it finally dawns on you that you're only a stupid teenager with a really bad hangover, and that your entire life is ahead of you.

happy birthday. :)

sometimes it just dawns on me that i've met some fabulous people in my ever-so exciting life.

lurve,

fatima

p.s i'm having issues with my surprise. i'm not very good at html, and figuring it out hurts my brain =P

PLUS i've been so busy

monday: bday/take up day at school

tuesday: sleep in/clean house/organize books etc.

wednesday: took inner-city elementary school kids on their end of school year trip

thursday: grad ceremony

friday [today]: orientation for uni

saturday [tomoro]: party yayayayay!

altho truthfully :P i have yet to go shopping for the party xD

oops

i PROMISE

as soon as i can

a) high school confessional

b) surprise!

p.p.s ALEX & DAN: BTW you have a radio show that hasn't been updated in 134087489679027347 years.