lmao. some rando called our house and left a mssg saying "as homer simpson would say: you are gay" xD my mum is like 'oemgee who is this!' =P caller id is an amazing invention. but wtv, i'm sure its just some idiot 'prank calling'. altho if i were them i wouldn't have picked my house T_T my dad would hunt them down and eat them just cause he's like that. goodness. that was exciting...
obviously NOT.
i neeed to study for mmmaaattthhh <3
lurve,
fatima
n.b =P this was last nite T_T i really need to start posting at the momeenttt
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Monday, April 27, 2009
Boxer Walk. Be There.
i was listening to 99.9 recently. and a few things came up:
a) mad dog + billie we're talking about your relationship with your doctor. and mad dog was saying how he was friends with his doctor; they'd talk for half an hour before getting to the actual check up. but thn it would turn very awkward b/c the dr would be checking his 'laffy-taffy' 'pork & beans'. xD trying to be a lil kid-friendly. kinda.
b) they had a segment about what wives/husbands keep from their spouses...& they were expecting things like 'i dont like his mother' or 'i lied about the toothpaste' or 'i overspent on my credit card'. BUT two ppl called. one person confessed that she's dating this guy BUT has been having an affair with her ex-boss + she's confused. AND this OTHER person called. and she's like 'o man; i have a secret.' and mad dog was like 'tell us.' and she's like 'i can't' and thn he's like 'well you called, so cmon tell us.' shes like 'o god. well i'm married but i'm in love with another woman.' and thn she HANGS up on them. kinda sad to see so many ppl cheating on their spouses. T_T
c) thn there was a commercial about this cancer walk/run thing. it started....
gaaah have to pee brb T_T
....kk so this woman answered the door and there was this man talking about how he needs sneakers for the run. and the woman was like, umm how about some clothing. and he's like no i need to be in my underwear, the run is for all that is downstairs. sooooo APPARENTLY in toronto there will be a walk/run wtv of [sexy?] men in their boxers in support of testicular cancer. i think that's ingenious! :P i'd go watch xD ew i'm awful.
i'm supposed to be studying for bio, doing math hw, writing a french essay & coming up with an english outline of some sort. but its obviously NOT being done. unfortunately.
i'm LAZY. i need to grow up geeez =P
*sigh* so tired nowadays...but also SO excited for highschool to end. i mean i had a fab time in gr9 + 10. but 11+12 was/is shit. way too much unnecessary stress. o well.
<3 i wish i could annotate for a living; poems, essays etc etc. it would be fabulous. i wish i could be an english/french teacher. i wish i can learn to work harder + be more motivated. i wish i could travel to places of need & help for ever and ever. i wish to have tons and tons of children that will grow up & do good in/to our world. i wish i could influence others in a positive way. *sigh*sigh* i ask for too much eh?
i'll ttyl lovelies!
lurve,
fatima
p.s SHELBY =P write a blog.
p.p.s its sad that there are no comments xD like ever.
p.p.p.s our stupid view counter is broken. its been at 810 views for 2 months. and obviously I'VE viewed it & shelbys viewed it. GAH stupid thing.
p.p.p.p.s i want a penpal that i can write letters to. i have a bunch of epals xD & i love them; but we're just msn'ing/emailing each other. :( i lost a penpals' [she's from china] email & i deleted the email that i used with her. GAH stupid stupid. i loved her too <3. who's in for a lil letter exchange?? T_T =P maybe francee or germany or spain or australia or south africa or uk somewhere etcetc <3<3
p.p.p.p.p.s i should have just continued my blog rather thn include hundreds of p.s' hehe.
a) mad dog + billie we're talking about your relationship with your doctor. and mad dog was saying how he was friends with his doctor; they'd talk for half an hour before getting to the actual check up. but thn it would turn very awkward b/c the dr would be checking his 'laffy-taffy' 'pork & beans'. xD trying to be a lil kid-friendly. kinda.
b) they had a segment about what wives/husbands keep from their spouses...& they were expecting things like 'i dont like his mother' or 'i lied about the toothpaste' or 'i overspent on my credit card'. BUT two ppl called. one person confessed that she's dating this guy BUT has been having an affair with her ex-boss + she's confused. AND this OTHER person called. and she's like 'o man; i have a secret.' and mad dog was like 'tell us.' and she's like 'i can't' and thn he's like 'well you called, so cmon tell us.' shes like 'o god. well i'm married but i'm in love with another woman.' and thn she HANGS up on them. kinda sad to see so many ppl cheating on their spouses. T_T
c) thn there was a commercial about this cancer walk/run thing. it started....
gaaah have to pee brb T_T
....kk so this woman answered the door and there was this man talking about how he needs sneakers for the run. and the woman was like, umm how about some clothing. and he's like no i need to be in my underwear, the run is for all that is downstairs. sooooo APPARENTLY in toronto there will be a walk/run wtv of [sexy?] men in their boxers in support of testicular cancer. i think that's ingenious! :P i'd go watch xD ew i'm awful.
i'm supposed to be studying for bio, doing math hw, writing a french essay & coming up with an english outline of some sort. but its obviously NOT being done. unfortunately.
i'm LAZY. i need to grow up geeez =P
*sigh* so tired nowadays...but also SO excited for highschool to end. i mean i had a fab time in gr9 + 10. but 11+12 was/is shit. way too much unnecessary stress. o well.
<3 i wish i could annotate for a living; poems, essays etc etc. it would be fabulous. i wish i could be an english/french teacher. i wish i can learn to work harder + be more motivated. i wish i could travel to places of need & help for ever and ever. i wish to have tons and tons of children that will grow up & do good in/to our world. i wish i could influence others in a positive way. *sigh*sigh* i ask for too much eh?
i'll ttyl lovelies!
lurve,
fatima
p.s SHELBY =P write a blog.
p.p.s its sad that there are no comments xD like ever.
p.p.p.s our stupid view counter is broken. its been at 810 views for 2 months. and obviously I'VE viewed it & shelbys viewed it. GAH stupid thing.
p.p.p.p.s i want a penpal that i can write letters to. i have a bunch of epals xD & i love them; but we're just msn'ing/emailing each other. :( i lost a penpals' [she's from china] email & i deleted the email that i used with her. GAH stupid stupid. i loved her too <3. who's in for a lil letter exchange?? T_T =P maybe francee or germany or spain or australia or south africa or uk somewhere etcetc <3<3
p.p.p.p.p.s i should have just continued my blog rather thn include hundreds of p.s' hehe.
n.b i was gonna post this last nite. but i forgot :P so voila xD
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Cute Reptiles?
i was stalking a friend of a friend of a friend on facebook. she went to an exotic pet expo thingymajig. and i liked these pictures. so i stole them :\ =P & decided to share them
v----these are geckos apparently ---^
v---these are chameleons---^
and these sexy beasts are baby bearded dragons
:P aren't they cute.
anyway, nothing new has happened/is happening.
i had a really nice cappuccino last nite; i intend on asking my mum for more xD
kinda bored. i have tons of hw T_T lovely.
tata =P
tons of love<3
fatima
p.s dont forget twitter i update that oftennn
and i think shelby updates dailybooth more thn her twitter
<3
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Tarot Cards
its 11:16pm, but i'll prolly post this tomoro morning...
i forgot to give samina her tarot cards T_T amongst other things
WHICH I WILL BRING TOMORO I PROMISE; i tied it to my backpack
anyway...so tarot cards. they're interesting. i know that you can relate the description to anything, i know that. i know that its vague enough that it CAN be anything. but *sigh* it just TOTALLY relates.
i'll just share my outcome for card 9 [inner emotions: What fears the Questioner? What does the Questioner secretly wish for? This card divulges the hidden desires and attitudes of the Questioner, as well as upcoming changes in the Questioner's perspective.] and card 10 [final result: this card reveals the ultimate outcome of the situation if events continue in their present course, based on the influences described by the other cards in the spread.]
sooo.... card 9 i got the three of swords; and for card 10 i got XXI The World, but reversed.
three of swords--> three swords in the heart warn of heartbreak, adultery, and infidelity. you need to communicate with a loved one. be sure to take care of health matters.
XXI the world [reversed]--> success may be delayed. you re not quite there yet. time to filter out imperfections and refine your vision.
i thought that was rather exciting T_T
*sigh* i've done my future with different questions like 50 times...and they've all pretty much said the same thing 'you have a fucked up present and near future, but if you're just, patient etc. you will succeed in the end. which SUCKS because my life at the moment is at like the lowest peak ever <_<
i forgot to give samina her tarot cards T_T amongst other things
WHICH I WILL BRING TOMORO I PROMISE; i tied it to my backpack
anyway...so tarot cards. they're interesting. i know that you can relate the description to anything, i know that. i know that its vague enough that it CAN be anything. but *sigh* it just TOTALLY relates.
i'll just share my outcome for card 9 [inner emotions: What fears the Questioner? What does the Questioner secretly wish for? This card divulges the hidden desires and attitudes of the Questioner, as well as upcoming changes in the Questioner's perspective.] and card 10 [final result: this card reveals the ultimate outcome of the situation if events continue in their present course, based on the influences described by the other cards in the spread.]
sooo.... card 9 i got the three of swords; and for card 10 i got XXI The World, but reversed.
three of swords--> three swords in the heart warn of heartbreak, adultery, and infidelity. you need to communicate with a loved one. be sure to take care of health matters.
XXI the world [reversed]--> success may be delayed. you re not quite there yet. time to filter out imperfections and refine your vision.
i thought that was rather exciting T_T
*sigh* i've done my future with different questions like 50 times...and they've all pretty much said the same thing 'you have a fucked up present and near future, but if you're just, patient etc. you will succeed in the end. which SUCKS because my life at the moment is at like the lowest peak ever <_<
srry i'm just kinda poopy. my dad is REALLY getting to me. i mean yes i know i'm a failure, its not hard to figure out T_T i mean geez, i try to be honest to myself. but i mean, i'd like it if my family supported me; even if i am a dumbass. gaahh maybe they'll change. i want to be mad at everyone, but something in my stupid head makes me forgive them and help them and wtv. which i guess is good, but not really cause i just repress wtv feelings i have and try to replace them with lovely feelings. its like at school, people look at me and think 'oo talkative, loud, happy fatima.' it is technically true, but i mean that's ONLY what people see; no one sees a dying soul of dyingness [yes i know poetic -.-] lmao no i mean, i wish people asked how i was, even if i do respond with 'great' or 'awesome' or 'goody' or wtv... its just nice to know that someone cares :P
lol -.-' i sound so pitiful its crazy. but *sigh* i need my parents to grow up and my siblings to learn the right things in life. but unfortunately none of them are going to change anytime soon, which SUCKS b/c i love them too much; and if they're horrible individuals other people won't be able to love them like i do. altho they may change in front of other people? so people may still like them. i dunno.
i just no that i'm the type of person that just doesn't show anything to anybody 'cause there's no point.
there will always be other people that are worse off. and i have to be thankful, ALWAYS. but gosh its hard.
lurve,
fatima
p.s yea, i should be finishing bio + math. or i may just do it tomoro morning after/before posting the blog [since i dont feel like connecting and logging in and editing this post at the moment]
p.p.s i'm going to bed i hope everyone had a lovely, dream-filled slumber!
Note: I ended up posting it afterschool xD i was toooo lazy to get up early + i had to finish some hw
Saturday, April 18, 2009
Sing-A-Long
hey readers!
i had the weirdest dream that i just woke up from.
i was sitting in a singing circle with a bunch of people that included, rebecca c, jeffery b, my mum, my lil sis and bro, this country singer, this old indian guy, weird nerds, damien f, bushra h, wasifa k, andrew b, sophie l, a lil girl, and some other people that i don't remember. anyway T_T i'm weird i know. but we were just sitting around in a circle and we took turns going into the circle to sing individually. xD jeff sang the ABCs in like a husky man voice, my mum sang some country song while i played guitar, the indian guy said he just wanted to observe but did math throughout the whole thing, bushra and wasifa we're dancing around singing this weird asian song, and damien was singing some weird old song from the middle ages about jokers kings and queens. and the rest of the people i didn't get too because my sister woke me up. i just had to write this down xD before i forget.
maaannn T_T :P
anyway :) i hope you're all doing well. i'm okeydokey, kinda tired; not really physically, but internally? my soul? just something inside of me i guess. *sigh* schools almost over thankfully; i may be going to libya in the summer :D i'm excited. i was thinking about working & finding a job, but know that my dad wants us to go see family~ even if its not for sure~ makes me hesitate in find a job that i may have to quit. other thn that, i have A LOT of huge projects due in the next 3 weeks that are going to leave me sleep deprived. plus i have to work really hard in pushing my math mark up. :S tis poopiness but i'm going to try!
take care!! <3 and have a good weekend.
lurve,
fatima
i had the weirdest dream that i just woke up from.
i was sitting in a singing circle with a bunch of people that included, rebecca c, jeffery b, my mum, my lil sis and bro, this country singer, this old indian guy, weird nerds, damien f, bushra h, wasifa k, andrew b, sophie l, a lil girl, and some other people that i don't remember. anyway T_T i'm weird i know. but we were just sitting around in a circle and we took turns going into the circle to sing individually. xD jeff sang the ABCs in like a husky man voice, my mum sang some country song while i played guitar, the indian guy said he just wanted to observe but did math throughout the whole thing, bushra and wasifa we're dancing around singing this weird asian song, and damien was singing some weird old song from the middle ages about jokers kings and queens. and the rest of the people i didn't get too because my sister woke me up. i just had to write this down xD before i forget.
maaannn T_T :P
anyway :) i hope you're all doing well. i'm okeydokey, kinda tired; not really physically, but internally? my soul? just something inside of me i guess. *sigh* schools almost over thankfully; i may be going to libya in the summer :D i'm excited. i was thinking about working & finding a job, but know that my dad wants us to go see family~ even if its not for sure~ makes me hesitate in find a job that i may have to quit. other thn that, i have A LOT of huge projects due in the next 3 weeks that are going to leave me sleep deprived. plus i have to work really hard in pushing my math mark up. :S tis poopiness but i'm going to try!
take care!! <3 and have a good weekend.
lurve,
fatima
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
... Change
Hey everyone,
no I haven't died or anything just well been different. I'm sorry for not writing any blogs these past two weeks have been insane with midterms and Easter weekend is always one of the busiest times of the year for me. But, here I am finally :) So this isn't going to be the original blog I intended to write... actually this is going to be something completely different. Change... okay you are thinking uh HUH has she gone mental what a random and broad topic to talk about. Well these past two weeks have made me realize how I've turned into such a lazy self absorbed arse... honestly I don't do my own laundry or cook I can't drive, I spend all my time sitting here in this chair talking to people on msn, twittering, facebooking, stalking youtubers, dailyboothing... So I haven't stopped all that, how could an internet addict like me suddenly stop, but I have cut back plenty... I didn't update my twitter for a few days or my facebook I haven't watched a youtuber's video in like a week these past two weekend every chance I've gotten I was out learning to drive. I've also kind of started to learn to cook. Today I went to the library and got a bunch of books. I used to absolutely love reading but ever since ricky and I started talking on the internet and what not I haven't read a book for leisure in.... I can't remember. So I took out a bunch of books and I started reading one today. I realized I'm so busy wanting the future to come I've missed out everything I mean when I was a kid I always had trouble getting along with people because I always felt they were so immature and I couldn't relate to them, now I'm a teenager I feel the same but I also feel like I've missed out. Never had a highschool boyfriend, never just done something really stupid and fun and irresponsible. Feels like I just skipped over that part of my life and I'm trying to rush into university and work and getting married. But I realized I shouldn't be doing that at all I should try and just live for now. It's horrible being away from Ricky, it is, but sulking around won't help and spending all hours on the computer talking to him won't help much either... I need to live... Ricky and I actually like have hardly talked for the past week or so... I think once for 20 minutes or something. Which kinda sucks cause I must say I'm a bit worried with all the amazing glamourous london lifestyle and parties that I feel left out of his life alot and worried he'll decide that staying and waiting for me isnt worth it... I hope he doesn't because even when we disagree or are apart for awhile he's always the one I'm thinking about and I truly never ever want to loose him. I love him so much. and It's true love not just lame teenager love. So Ricky if you are reading this...please know that and don't forget about me while you are off having fun with your uni friends. So I'm feeling good... off to study for chem and then bed. I mean things aren't fantastic and I still feel sad and depressed and confused ~ stuff like that doesn't change overnight but I also feel like I'm getting better even just alittle... atleast I'm trying to climb out of this rut I've been stuck in for the past like 5 years of my life... it is never too late.
Ttyl ~ Shelby
no I haven't died or anything just well been different. I'm sorry for not writing any blogs these past two weeks have been insane with midterms and Easter weekend is always one of the busiest times of the year for me. But, here I am finally :) So this isn't going to be the original blog I intended to write... actually this is going to be something completely different. Change... okay you are thinking uh HUH has she gone mental what a random and broad topic to talk about. Well these past two weeks have made me realize how I've turned into such a lazy self absorbed arse... honestly I don't do my own laundry or cook I can't drive, I spend all my time sitting here in this chair talking to people on msn, twittering, facebooking, stalking youtubers, dailyboothing... So I haven't stopped all that, how could an internet addict like me suddenly stop, but I have cut back plenty... I didn't update my twitter for a few days or my facebook I haven't watched a youtuber's video in like a week these past two weekend every chance I've gotten I was out learning to drive. I've also kind of started to learn to cook. Today I went to the library and got a bunch of books. I used to absolutely love reading but ever since ricky and I started talking on the internet and what not I haven't read a book for leisure in.... I can't remember. So I took out a bunch of books and I started reading one today. I realized I'm so busy wanting the future to come I've missed out everything I mean when I was a kid I always had trouble getting along with people because I always felt they were so immature and I couldn't relate to them, now I'm a teenager I feel the same but I also feel like I've missed out. Never had a highschool boyfriend, never just done something really stupid and fun and irresponsible. Feels like I just skipped over that part of my life and I'm trying to rush into university and work and getting married. But I realized I shouldn't be doing that at all I should try and just live for now. It's horrible being away from Ricky, it is, but sulking around won't help and spending all hours on the computer talking to him won't help much either... I need to live... Ricky and I actually like have hardly talked for the past week or so... I think once for 20 minutes or something. Which kinda sucks cause I must say I'm a bit worried with all the amazing glamourous london lifestyle and parties that I feel left out of his life alot and worried he'll decide that staying and waiting for me isnt worth it... I hope he doesn't because even when we disagree or are apart for awhile he's always the one I'm thinking about and I truly never ever want to loose him. I love him so much. and It's true love not just lame teenager love. So Ricky if you are reading this...please know that and don't forget about me while you are off having fun with your uni friends. So I'm feeling good... off to study for chem and then bed. I mean things aren't fantastic and I still feel sad and depressed and confused ~ stuff like that doesn't change overnight but I also feel like I'm getting better even just alittle... atleast I'm trying to climb out of this rut I've been stuck in for the past like 5 years of my life... it is never too late.
Ttyl ~ Shelby
Sunday, April 12, 2009
Crazy Brown Poser Drama
lmao so wasifa and this weird girly who isn't normal at all xD are having an awful spat over this silly thingy that wasifa wrote [see below] so i'm going to post it here. just because i'm cool like that. & i can xD
--------------
just a quick update: midterms are OVER, thank goodness. the fuckerfuckfucked up math teacher is GONE for like a few days [i'm just lucky like that]; so i dont have to deal with him. i'm on easter holiday, so long weekend :) ~ altho i haven't done much. i'm kinda bored. my family is pissing me off, but thats not new either. *sigh* i update twitter a lil more often, so i guess check that out. tata peeps! i'll actually write a blog tomoro prolly<3
dont forget to read the lil blurb thingy below! :D
&& btw --> theres a man with sexy arms that my friend wants to cut off with a scalpel; which is just TOO weird you know. *sigh* but he has a nice smile too :) T_T which she can't cut off, i hope not at least......ANYway
lurve,
fatima
Human Wasteland
You know those people you want to punch cos they're such a waste of life? I know someone like that. To be honest, I feel like the entire population of my highschool is like that, which is why I call it the human wasteland. But this one girl in particular really grinds my gears, and I dedicate this blog to her.
[A. Religion]. go away. you are annoying. there is absolutely nothnig good about you.
I dont like your name -_- it reminds me of indian bread.
I dont like your face -_- it reminds me, well, of you.
I dont like your hair -_- its too silky for a brown girl
I dont like your stupid nose stud -_- its too punk for someone so gangster
I dont like the fact that you're supershort -_- that was my thing
I dont like that you get smashed every weekend -_- thats just bad sense
I dont like the way you talk -_- you're boring
I dont like the fact that you agree with all of the above -_- cos that makes you somewhat of a normal person; not cool.
srsly. stop being yourself :)
Love,
your NOT bestie
p.s wtf is twitter.
You know those people you want to punch cos they're such a waste of life? I know someone like that. To be honest, I feel like the entire population of my highschool is like that, which is why I call it the human wasteland. But this one girl in particular really grinds my gears, and I dedicate this blog to her.
[A. Religion]. go away. you are annoying. there is absolutely nothnig good about you.
I dont like your name -_- it reminds me of indian bread.
I dont like your face -_- it reminds me, well, of you.
I dont like your hair -_- its too silky for a brown girl
I dont like your stupid nose stud -_- its too punk for someone so gangster
I dont like the fact that you're supershort -_- that was my thing
I dont like that you get smashed every weekend -_- thats just bad sense
I dont like the way you talk -_- you're boring
I dont like the fact that you agree with all of the above -_- cos that makes you somewhat of a normal person; not cool.
srsly. stop being yourself :)
Love,
your NOT bestie
p.s wtf is twitter.
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
I'm With Stupid
so i was in bio class with steph and she wanted to take a pic
but i'm ugly :P so she took a pic of herself thn i drew a picture of me next to her
i know.
amazing isn't it
i see me in that portrait xD
& my artistic skills = AHmazing
*sigh* i'm pooopedx5234980
lurve
fatima
p.s fuck you mr.johnstone
p.p.s i find this picture of lady gaga hilarious
p.p.p.s and this [german me thinks] explanation on how to make babies; click on it :P its fab XD
Friday, April 3, 2009
I Forgot The Title T_T
so ya. the girl is apparently being charged.
why would posting it on myspace get your bf's attention
Shelboo... says: (4:27:42 PM)
if he's alreayd your bf:P
f.a.t.oo.m.y(f) says: (4:27:45 PM)
well yea that's just stupid
Shelboo... says: (4:27:49 PM)
you can just send him them haah
f.a.t.oo.m.y(f) says: (4:27:51 PM)
but i mean :P why is she going to jail?
Shelboo... says: (4:27:56 PM)
idk
f.a.t.oo.m.y(f) says: (4:28:00 PM)
cause like porn sites are everywhere all the time
Shelboo... says: (4:28:08 PM)
she wont
f.a.t.oo.m.y(f) says: (4:28:10 PM)
just b/c they're there doesn't mean we look at them
f.a.t.oo.m.y(f) says: (4:28:25 PM)
well yea. but she's being charged? for posting pics of herself naked :P
Shelboo... says: (4:28:32 PM)
weird idk
f.a.t.oo.m.y(f) says: (4:28:34 PM)
i mean. if you go on hi5. guys post pictures of their penises
Shelboo... says: (4:28:39 PM)
our world is weird
Shelboo... says: (4:28:43 PM)
ya :P LOL
Shelboo... says: (4:28:44 PM)
true!!
f.a.t.oo.m.y(f) says: (4:28:46 PM)
its true! :P
f.a.t.oo.m.y(f) says: (4:28:47 PM)
like wtf
f.a.t.oo.m.y(f) says: (4:28:57 PM)
a girl shows like a nipple and vagina hair :P
Shelboo... says: (4:29:02 PM)
girl's are supposed to 'set the moral standards' for the world tho....
gaaah what a stupid world
-fatima
And So She Died With The Doll In Her Hand
I have never been more inspired to do some sort of aid work in the world ever. at least at this point in my life. i just watched a movie called 'the constant gardener' a friend of mine was going to watch it, but she didn't sign it out from the library. i looked at it and it sounded really interesting so i signed it out. this movie, you have to make time for. you really should watch it, because it's serious enough and relates back to reality so easily that the individual watching can actually get something out of it. ralph fiennes & rachel weisz are in it. and i'm not much of a critic, but their characters in the movie are amazing....
i feel so useless. so many people are suffering and i sit at home in my warm bed wondering whether i'll get into university or not.
i'm upset. i wish with all my heart that i can find a way to ease at least some peoples suffering. i need to know that sometime in my life i'll do some actual good in the world. i don't need a private practice, or an amazing job at a hospital. the people that have a hospital to go to are lucky enough. as human beings we have to know the difference between right and wrong? shouldn't we? we should be able to realize that starvation, malnutrition;; all that 'bad' stuff;; shouldn't be a part of other peoples lives. i swear. if i just knew that i will do some good to this world i'd be a happier person. but i dont see myself that far in the future. i'm not driven, persuasive, charming, motivated, competitive, aggressive when need be. i dont have a strong character that can push others to do whats right. i'm like everybody else in the world; i believe that i can't do anything immediate. i need to inform myself about the worlds struggles and problems. not the shit about the middle east, or the crap about some nuclear wtv. those are just issues between governments and leaders who should be grown ups and sort it out. but what should matter is that people, normal people like me and you and the people around you, don't eat, drink... they're dying and suffering because we turn around from the 'ick' of the world we live in.
i can't believe any of this :( people tell me not to worry, and that 'o fatima, you'll do something for this world.' but wtf, why can't i do something now? why is university so much more important thn a childs life? why is my future, which will be ok; more important thn the future of a man that...wait he HAS no future, he has aids and walks 40km to fetch medicine for his child and wife, he'll be lucky if he lives for a few more months. my life has no value if i can't make good use of it.
the movie. o man, it just made me think. and there are some scenes that are so powerful. its 2am rite now. i'll prolly post this tomoro morning or something since i have hw to start. but *sigh* i really need to figure out where my life is heading. whether i actually have a purpose, or even some sort of future. my priorities need to be set straight...if you're reading this blog. if you even bother reading it. which i'm sure many aren't going to even bother FINISHING. please think, for even just a moment, you dont have to actually change your life. just think about what actually matters in life. just ponder for a second what you really need to live a human life, to live a comfortable life, to live a materialistic life and to live a lucky life. they're all different, and if you can see that. even only for a second! thn you're one step ahead of everyone else in the world.
make some time
watch this movie "The Constant Gardener" its based upon the novel by John Le Carré. i liked it. it changed my train of thought at 2 in the morning, so maybe it'll effect you slightly too....
& you know what else. people need to be shown love more often too...
<3 i love you lovely readers. even if there are none or many or a few of you. and even if i dont actually know you. i'm assuming and i'm more thn postive, that y'all are the best ever :)
lurve,
fatima
p.s ya. i wrote this Fri Apr 3rd at 1:57am. Posted later in the day though because I had homework to do.
p.p.s at the end of the credits, you can find this lil blurb thingy....
This film is dedicated to Yvette Pierpaoli and all other aid workers who lived and died giving a damn.
nobody in this story, and no outfit or corporation, thank god, is based upon an actual person or outfit in the real world. but i can tell you this, as my journey through the pharmaceutical jungle progressed, i came to realize that, by comparison with the reality, my story was as tame as a holiday postcard.
- John Le Carré
i feel so useless. so many people are suffering and i sit at home in my warm bed wondering whether i'll get into university or not.
i'm upset. i wish with all my heart that i can find a way to ease at least some peoples suffering. i need to know that sometime in my life i'll do some actual good in the world. i don't need a private practice, or an amazing job at a hospital. the people that have a hospital to go to are lucky enough. as human beings we have to know the difference between right and wrong? shouldn't we? we should be able to realize that starvation, malnutrition;; all that 'bad' stuff;; shouldn't be a part of other peoples lives. i swear. if i just knew that i will do some good to this world i'd be a happier person. but i dont see myself that far in the future. i'm not driven, persuasive, charming, motivated, competitive, aggressive when need be. i dont have a strong character that can push others to do whats right. i'm like everybody else in the world; i believe that i can't do anything immediate. i need to inform myself about the worlds struggles and problems. not the shit about the middle east, or the crap about some nuclear wtv. those are just issues between governments and leaders who should be grown ups and sort it out. but what should matter is that people, normal people like me and you and the people around you, don't eat, drink... they're dying and suffering because we turn around from the 'ick' of the world we live in.
i can't believe any of this :( people tell me not to worry, and that 'o fatima, you'll do something for this world.' but wtf, why can't i do something now? why is university so much more important thn a childs life? why is my future, which will be ok; more important thn the future of a man that...wait he HAS no future, he has aids and walks 40km to fetch medicine for his child and wife, he'll be lucky if he lives for a few more months. my life has no value if i can't make good use of it.
the movie. o man, it just made me think. and there are some scenes that are so powerful. its 2am rite now. i'll prolly post this tomoro morning or something since i have hw to start. but *sigh* i really need to figure out where my life is heading. whether i actually have a purpose, or even some sort of future. my priorities need to be set straight...if you're reading this blog. if you even bother reading it. which i'm sure many aren't going to even bother FINISHING. please think, for even just a moment, you dont have to actually change your life. just think about what actually matters in life. just ponder for a second what you really need to live a human life, to live a comfortable life, to live a materialistic life and to live a lucky life. they're all different, and if you can see that. even only for a second! thn you're one step ahead of everyone else in the world.
make some time
watch this movie "The Constant Gardener" its based upon the novel by John Le Carré. i liked it. it changed my train of thought at 2 in the morning, so maybe it'll effect you slightly too....
& you know what else. people need to be shown love more often too...
<3 i love you lovely readers. even if there are none or many or a few of you. and even if i dont actually know you. i'm assuming and i'm more thn postive, that y'all are the best ever :)
lurve,
fatima
p.s ya. i wrote this Fri Apr 3rd at 1:57am. Posted later in the day though because I had homework to do.
p.p.s at the end of the credits, you can find this lil blurb thingy....
This film is dedicated to Yvette Pierpaoli and all other aid workers who lived and died giving a damn.
nobody in this story, and no outfit or corporation, thank god, is based upon an actual person or outfit in the real world. but i can tell you this, as my journey through the pharmaceutical jungle progressed, i came to realize that, by comparison with the reality, my story was as tame as a holiday postcard.
- John Le Carré
Thursday, April 2, 2009
Burlogh ie blog
I think i've changed my mind about what i want to do w/ my life. i'm still going to go into some science program, but where exactly is becoming an issue. i'm leaning towards U of T life sci @ victoria college [its bootiful]; western health sci; mcmaster life sciences or head off to libya and stay with family there (thn merrbay exchange in europe somewhere) Anyway...WHY am i at a crossroads NOW T_T
i for sure intend on doing some volunteer work either in Argentina/ Ghana or Morrocco. but GAH i think if i go to mac or U of T thn i'll do it cause i won't be in any debt really at all. but if i go to libya or western it'd be a lil too expensive. but maybe hmmm....libya i could go to morrocco. that may work.
gaah!
i'm not exactly sane...and i need chocolate or something
*sigh* at least i have a future :P
lol need SOME sanity in my life....
lurve,
fatima
p.s the chem exam tonite was brutal. i never want to draw a 2,3,N,N-tetramethylaminobutane ever again...
i for sure intend on doing some volunteer work either in Argentina/ Ghana or Morrocco. but GAH i think if i go to mac or U of T thn i'll do it cause i won't be in any debt really at all. but if i go to libya or western it'd be a lil too expensive. but maybe hmmm....libya i could go to morrocco. that may work.
gaah!
i'm not exactly sane...and i need chocolate or something
*sigh* at least i have a future :P
lol need SOME sanity in my life....
lurve,
fatima
p.s the chem exam tonite was brutal. i never want to draw a 2,3,N,N-tetramethylaminobutane ever again...
*says the girl going into biochemistry*
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
See Kay
so in class we had to get into groups for an assignment due on tuesday. and part of the assignment was to write a poem as a group thn assign pictures to the poem. what we ended up doing was that one person would write a sentence, thn passes it on to another person....etc. AND we came up with something "totally wack" T_T it may not make much sense the first time you read it. But read it again :) and again :) and again :P and thn MAYBE it'll make some sort of something... the pictures for this poem will be up laterz since we still have to do that part of the project. enjoy.
ooo & creds to Naomi D, Rhiannon H, Damien F, and moi.
I wear Calvin Klein;
And drink lemonaid.
This is solitude in the dark.
Lighting a cigarette butt;
I've been known....to smoke down to the bone.
This is the life of a single man.
In a bar sitting on a stool;
drinking lemonaid.
No one to welcome me home;
Only mice with cheeze...oh sweet cheeze.
How do I love thee?
Ever ravenous, never satisfied.
Oh, stupid cheeze.
I lied...I don't wear Calvin Klein.
Lighting a cigarette butt;
I've been known....to smoke down to the bone.
This is the life of a single man.
In a bar sitting on a stool;
drinking lemonaid.
No one to welcome me home;
Only mice with cheeze...oh sweet cheeze.
How do I love thee?
Ever ravenous, never satisfied.
Oh, stupid cheeze.
I lied...I don't wear Calvin Klein.
ahaa.
lurve,
fatima
p.s aaa if ur a soccer/futbol fan. o em gee. qualifying has started xD
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