Love from Shelby

Hey everybody,
So last time I wrote it really sucked to put it nicely. I wasn't doing so well and depressed and feeling poopish. Since then I've moved out on my own for university. Living off campus with a lovely lady. Life is getting better, but I really have to work at it. I'm still very lonely, sad and unhappy but things are getting better. And atleast I'm not depressed anymore, I have alot I'm grateful for now :) I live in a really beautiful city and I'm absolutely loving the university and course I'm in. So things do get better they just don't seem to come so easily. Which I guess is better, I wouldn't want to be like those people who have everything and don't work for it. But it's tough. I feel like I've grown up overnight; I knew I would. The thing about me is that I was always grown up in the mature 'mental' sense just I wasn't independent but people relate that with maturity and growing up. So now my psychological maturity matches my independence. Ha if that makes sense.

I've been listening to this song non-stop all day :
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tcZoNBngAnM

And a bunch of other country songs. I know alot of people don't like country but to be honest I find country artists are alot of the most talented people. And most of them write their own music or also play instruments. They just have a way with words and with expressing themselves in a language that no other music I have listened to does. Other music is fun but it isn't soulful it doesn't tell a story. And has anyone noticed that like 100% of other music is about girl/boy love where as about like 60% of country is and the other is songs about tons of different and unique subjects. I really love it; when everything else in life seems meaningless and empty just listen to country music. Honestly I love Martina McBride anyways but that song just warms my heart and brings tears to my eyes, it's everything I think about just summed into a song... don't we all want someone ... "you're the dream that I've been chasing... you're a standing ovation after years of waiting for a chance to finally shine" Like honestly just words for the soul.

I realized the only time, only time ever that my mind is not madly racing with thoughts aobut analyzing everything in the entire world... the only time is when i'm listening to music like this... That must be why I love music so much... time stops for me. I've always had this serious annoyance of thinking 25/8 honestly it's no wonder my mind doesn't explode with the amount of things going on in it. I never don't think about anything. it's really messed up because it doesn't sound annoying but really I don't think most people are actually analyzing things every second of the day. But my stupid mind just works like that :P I'm a thinker and I can't help it.

Anyways this is a very messy blog but oh well... that's how my mind works.

Haha just on a funny note:

I was walking home alone about 11 last night and it's quite sketchy I must admit. Especially for me a country girl, to be walking alone in a city. So I pulled out my cell phone and had a fake phone conversation for 45 minutes and I put on a completely fake english accent. I know it sounds so pathetic but the funnest thing ever!!! So I highly recommend that you try it because it is way too much fun. By the end of the 45 minutes I had like the awesomest english accent perfected. And I was getting sooo many looks from people haha it was amazing :P

Lots of love, I'll check in soon <3

Toodle-loo
~The Shelby I've always wanted to be~ (if that makes sense;)