"And I will take it and wash it and carry it to a far country until it is no longer your sin; but just a curiosity adrift, beached and made innocent."
Fall On Your Knees by: Ann-Marie MacDonald
Monday, March 30, 2009
Grab The Book Closest To You. Go To Page 56, Find the 5th Sentence. Write That Sentence In The Text Box
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Saturday, March 28, 2009
I've Been Making Babies
[BTW NEW VLR && SLAPDASH FM <3]
so i made some babies :) with like random people off of youtube xD [im sorry if you think its creepy lmao] but don't worry :) cause we made kinda ugly babies :P so i can't have sex with you.
the ones that have a black squares covering the father, well those are people from school that I'd rather didn't KNOW i was having their babies :P haa xD enjoy...
lurve,
fatima
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Stupid Bitch That Drools
kk i need to release. tense & depressed. so if you don't feel like knowing about the bullshit happening in my life thn dont continue reading.
ugh. ugh. ugh. ugh. ugh.
just so you're in the know. i'm a studious enough student, i do want to get good grades and get into university. but unfortunately this year somethings happened. i'm slacking off? no motivation? depression? i dont know. anyway, i haven't been doing to great. at all actually. i have low 70 in calculus when the class median is 90 and i have a low 80 in bio which is a course i usually ace. so just that = downer for me. i'm not used to getting such low marks and i dont feel like i can handle. to top it all off i dont really have the most stable family. my sister believes that being a bitch is totally normal, my mum is slightly weird, my dad believes that if you dont go into science you're basically a dumbass *quote*o fatima if you dont get into life sci, we'll just stick you into nursing or business or something that doesn't need brains*end quote* yes i know.and he has issues with me period, kinda the least favourite offspring. you're prolly thinking "o she's just in a bad mood and exaggerating" actually no, i'm just giving you a general idea, just skimming the subject. the rest is just a lil too personal for me to post at the moment, i'll hope get over this shit soon. so ya, i'm failing school [in my, my family, and my friends standards], my family thinks i'm a failure so i've turned into the 'stupid sister' & APPARENTLY i could care less about all this. ugh i obviously do care, or i wouldn't be sobbing every two seconds about this shit. ugh kk that's something that happens in the end of this 'story'. so today was parent-teacher interview nite + i had nite school. so my dad picks moi and siblings up from school and we go home for like 40mins before going back to my school for interviews. i'm talking to my mum and i tell her how i'm disappointed in myself cause i'm not doing well. she basically shuns me and calls me a failure as a daughter, and that no actual daughter of hers would do so bad in school. like ugh i was really upset when that happened, and i kinda am now. but like really, i dont get why your character can be based on your intelligence. i mean how does doing bad in math relate to me being her daughter? so ya, that upset me, i went to the school crying basically. THN my dad met with my bio teacher, who said i was doing ok but when my dad came to talk to me he wasn't happy with my mark and was disappointed. he thn went to calculus. he comes out and he's like "wth why are you failing blah blah blah." now i knew that my dad would say things like that, its pretty obvious. BUT when my dad was telling me about what the teacher said, ya i kinda broke down after that too. ugh fuck hormones. so ya, my teacher said "o she's just not as intelligent. maybe its just ur family." blah blah blah "she sits in class indifferent to the lesson, she doesn't care and just drools around doing nothing." kk so thats his impression of me apparently. but every other teacher i've ever had thinks i'm one of the most respectful students ever. i mean this very seriously. so my teachers conclusion is that i'm just being a stupid bitch sitting in class not caring. he doesn't think maybe, ooo fatima is trying to figure out the problem that you're going through and she has a look of confusion on her face, or that she doesn't want to answer the questions because she's afraid they'll be wrong, or that somethings going on at home, or somebody died. he basically judged me by how i'm doing in his class and what i look to him. ok sure, i know that's how judging works. but i mean, he's a teacher and he knows better. you can't just assume stupidity if there are hundreds of other reasons. ugh, i just hate it. i know i'm not good at math. i KNOW that. but the fact that he thinks i'm a 'bad' person that doesn't care. i dont know, i'd rather have people think i'm a good person thn think i'm intelligent. i value morals and respect over intelligence. but i guess there are a lil bit too many people that don't have that point of view.
i don't know anymore. like i am so upset. i don't have anyone at home that cares. and thn i come to school and i put on the best face i could possibly have because i know that there are so many other people in the world and in my community even, that have it worse. so i just try to keep it to myself and try and deal with it. but i guess its been building up and i can't really handle family stress, family responsibility, family expectations, my expectations, my friends expectations, societys expectations, school work, 'free time' etc. like its not even that i'm busy, its just the interactions that take place can have an effect. like if my parents are fighting while i'm studying for a math test, i don't know anybody who will be able to focus on the studying. if you do, goodness gracious i envy you.
anyway, i dont want people to think that i'm trying to find an excuse for my stupidity. i know that i don't put in 110% effort, but i think that i'm not the only person who has to change for the better.
ALSO. while at parent teacher interview. kk where we live, it was pretty nice weather, but i was still wearing my winter coat for wtv reason. and we were in a building, and i was wearing a winter coat. remember that. also, my lips have been very dry, so i put chapstick on often. my dad goes in for a meeting and i'm sitting outside waiting. he comes out and just looks at me. later that nite he's picking me up from nite school he asks "fatima why did you put red stuff on your face and stuff on your lips" LIKE W.T.F. a) i was hot = red face, b) chapsitck. he assumes that i was 'getting pretty' for a guy or i was hoping to see a guy or something along those lines. UGH. UGH. UGH. GEEEEZ
i love my family. in their own way i love them all. i really do. BUT it doesn't mean i have to agree with what they say, do or wtv. I don't have to like how they act around me or around people. but for me, they're still my family and i'd do anything for them. they don't have that mindset unfortunately. i'm like the mouse in a house full of panthers waiting to eat me because i'm just so small and stupid and weak.
:( man
i'm really sad. and i dont know what to do. i know i will make a difference in the world somehow, but rite now i have never been so low in my life.
*sigh* :( *needs a hug*
ugh what a long post
*hugs* take care.
fatima
ugh. ugh. ugh. ugh. ugh.
just so you're in the know. i'm a studious enough student, i do want to get good grades and get into university. but unfortunately this year somethings happened. i'm slacking off? no motivation? depression? i dont know. anyway, i haven't been doing to great. at all actually. i have low 70 in calculus when the class median is 90 and i have a low 80 in bio which is a course i usually ace. so just that = downer for me. i'm not used to getting such low marks and i dont feel like i can handle. to top it all off i dont really have the most stable family. my sister believes that being a bitch is totally normal, my mum is slightly weird, my dad believes that if you dont go into science you're basically a dumbass *quote*o fatima if you dont get into life sci, we'll just stick you into nursing or business or something that doesn't need brains*end quote* yes i know.and he has issues with me period, kinda the least favourite offspring. you're prolly thinking "o she's just in a bad mood and exaggerating" actually no, i'm just giving you a general idea, just skimming the subject. the rest is just a lil too personal for me to post at the moment, i'll hope get over this shit soon. so ya, i'm failing school [in my, my family, and my friends standards], my family thinks i'm a failure so i've turned into the 'stupid sister' & APPARENTLY i could care less about all this. ugh i obviously do care, or i wouldn't be sobbing every two seconds about this shit. ugh kk that's something that happens in the end of this 'story'. so today was parent-teacher interview nite + i had nite school. so my dad picks moi and siblings up from school and we go home for like 40mins before going back to my school for interviews. i'm talking to my mum and i tell her how i'm disappointed in myself cause i'm not doing well. she basically shuns me and calls me a failure as a daughter, and that no actual daughter of hers would do so bad in school. like ugh i was really upset when that happened, and i kinda am now. but like really, i dont get why your character can be based on your intelligence. i mean how does doing bad in math relate to me being her daughter? so ya, that upset me, i went to the school crying basically. THN my dad met with my bio teacher, who said i was doing ok but when my dad came to talk to me he wasn't happy with my mark and was disappointed. he thn went to calculus. he comes out and he's like "wth why are you failing blah blah blah." now i knew that my dad would say things like that, its pretty obvious. BUT when my dad was telling me about what the teacher said, ya i kinda broke down after that too. ugh fuck hormones. so ya, my teacher said "o she's just not as intelligent. maybe its just ur family." blah blah blah "she sits in class indifferent to the lesson, she doesn't care and just drools around doing nothing." kk so thats his impression of me apparently. but every other teacher i've ever had thinks i'm one of the most respectful students ever. i mean this very seriously. so my teachers conclusion is that i'm just being a stupid bitch sitting in class not caring. he doesn't think maybe, ooo fatima is trying to figure out the problem that you're going through and she has a look of confusion on her face, or that she doesn't want to answer the questions because she's afraid they'll be wrong, or that somethings going on at home, or somebody died. he basically judged me by how i'm doing in his class and what i look to him. ok sure, i know that's how judging works. but i mean, he's a teacher and he knows better. you can't just assume stupidity if there are hundreds of other reasons. ugh, i just hate it. i know i'm not good at math. i KNOW that. but the fact that he thinks i'm a 'bad' person that doesn't care. i dont know, i'd rather have people think i'm a good person thn think i'm intelligent. i value morals and respect over intelligence. but i guess there are a lil bit too many people that don't have that point of view.
i don't know anymore. like i am so upset. i don't have anyone at home that cares. and thn i come to school and i put on the best face i could possibly have because i know that there are so many other people in the world and in my community even, that have it worse. so i just try to keep it to myself and try and deal with it. but i guess its been building up and i can't really handle family stress, family responsibility, family expectations, my expectations, my friends expectations, societys expectations, school work, 'free time' etc. like its not even that i'm busy, its just the interactions that take place can have an effect. like if my parents are fighting while i'm studying for a math test, i don't know anybody who will be able to focus on the studying. if you do, goodness gracious i envy you.
anyway, i dont want people to think that i'm trying to find an excuse for my stupidity. i know that i don't put in 110% effort, but i think that i'm not the only person who has to change for the better.
ALSO. while at parent teacher interview. kk where we live, it was pretty nice weather, but i was still wearing my winter coat for wtv reason. and we were in a building, and i was wearing a winter coat. remember that. also, my lips have been very dry, so i put chapstick on often. my dad goes in for a meeting and i'm sitting outside waiting. he comes out and just looks at me. later that nite he's picking me up from nite school he asks "fatima why did you put red stuff on your face and stuff on your lips" LIKE W.T.F. a) i was hot = red face, b) chapsitck. he assumes that i was 'getting pretty' for a guy or i was hoping to see a guy or something along those lines. UGH. UGH. UGH. GEEEEZ
i love my family. in their own way i love them all. i really do. BUT it doesn't mean i have to agree with what they say, do or wtv. I don't have to like how they act around me or around people. but for me, they're still my family and i'd do anything for them. they don't have that mindset unfortunately. i'm like the mouse in a house full of panthers waiting to eat me because i'm just so small and stupid and weak.
:( man
i'm really sad. and i dont know what to do. i know i will make a difference in the world somehow, but rite now i have never been so low in my life.
*sigh* :( *needs a hug*
ugh what a long post
*hugs* take care.
fatima
Horror In The Household
Okay, so I should be studying for my biology AND chemistry tests tomorrow. BUT I just had to blog this.
Now I've read Twilight, and I do like it. The plot is pretty simple but I like the way its written. It's sensual. Not in the sexual way, but the 'pleasures the senses' way. And no I don't think Edward is some uber-hot amazing dream-like character. I can dream of better ;) :P LOL. He just does SOME things that are cute and it would be very nice if guys now did it. ANYWAY this is not the point of the blog...The Twilight movie on the other hand SUCKED ASS. [lol shelby ;)] script=shit. directors direction=shit. actors=shit. they looked CONSTIPATED. ALL OF THEM. Throughout the WHOLE movie. I SWEAR. So ya...Twilight is on right now on pay-per-view on my telly. And its been going on 24/7 and will prolly be there for like another week. AND my DAD watched it. [if you formed even a SLIGHT opinion of him from my past blogs, you'd realize that he is the last person to watch some shit like that] AND HE IS DISCUSSING IT WITH MY SISTER!! they are DISCUSSING TWILIGHT! what they loved and didn't love from the movie. I SWEAR. you may think that 'o its normal, kinda' KK THIS IS NOT NORMAL. its like the weirdest thing ever. my dad is the type, like if i want to see princess diaries for example, he'll say "WHAT you want to be a princess, and fall in love now do you? ooo i bet you DO want a boyfriend HUH? OOOo I bet you have one? Who do you hang out with at school? Do you talk to any boys?...." the list goes on and on. And he's downstairs discussing a ROMANCE <_< with my SISTER <_<. altho to make it LESS weird, he DOES say that he loved the fighting parts in the film and wished there were more b/c of the vampire characters or something? anyway. i'm astounded. flabbergasted?
hmmm mite as well write about other stuff now that i'm at it...
parent-teacher nite is tomoro, my dad is going to see my calculus and bio teacher. :S not good since i'm failing both classes T__T
i need to find MOTIVATION. i need to be inspired. b/c if i'm not I wont bother with this crap highschool idea. i mean really, high school is just a daycare for the 'young adults' and they try to get you ready for 'real life.' in reality tho, i dont think i'm in any way ready for 'real life.' i mean, in real life am i given second chances? if i'm late can i hand it in the next day? or just schedule another meeting? if someone upsets me, or if i dont like my boss can i complain to someone else? NO! none of this relates to real life. real life means that you have to be able to know how to fend for yourself. and in high school you are taken care of. my gr12 teachers are all like 'ooo you have to be more responsible blah blah cause we wont give you second chances' not true. ugh i'm just frustrated because of high school in general <_<
anyway eww sorry on ending on such a sour note.
take care lovelies :) i've got tons to do tonite!
lurve,
fatima
Now I've read Twilight, and I do like it. The plot is pretty simple but I like the way its written. It's sensual. Not in the sexual way, but the 'pleasures the senses' way. And no I don't think Edward is some uber-hot amazing dream-like character. I can dream of better ;) :P LOL. He just does SOME things that are cute and it would be very nice if guys now did it. ANYWAY this is not the point of the blog...The Twilight movie on the other hand SUCKED ASS. [lol shelby ;)] script=shit. directors direction=shit. actors=shit. they looked CONSTIPATED. ALL OF THEM. Throughout the WHOLE movie. I SWEAR. So ya...Twilight is on right now on pay-per-view on my telly. And its been going on 24/7 and will prolly be there for like another week. AND my DAD watched it. [if you formed even a SLIGHT opinion of him from my past blogs, you'd realize that he is the last person to watch some shit like that] AND HE IS DISCUSSING IT WITH MY SISTER!! they are DISCUSSING TWILIGHT! what they loved and didn't love from the movie. I SWEAR. you may think that 'o its normal, kinda' KK THIS IS NOT NORMAL. its like the weirdest thing ever. my dad is the type, like if i want to see princess diaries for example, he'll say "WHAT you want to be a princess, and fall in love now do you? ooo i bet you DO want a boyfriend HUH? OOOo I bet you have one? Who do you hang out with at school? Do you talk to any boys?...." the list goes on and on. And he's downstairs discussing a ROMANCE <_< with my SISTER <_<. altho to make it LESS weird, he DOES say that he loved the fighting parts in the film and wished there were more b/c of the vampire characters or something? anyway. i'm astounded. flabbergasted?
hmmm mite as well write about other stuff now that i'm at it...
parent-teacher nite is tomoro, my dad is going to see my calculus and bio teacher. :S not good since i'm failing both classes T__T
i need to find MOTIVATION. i need to be inspired. b/c if i'm not I wont bother with this crap highschool idea. i mean really, high school is just a daycare for the 'young adults' and they try to get you ready for 'real life.' in reality tho, i dont think i'm in any way ready for 'real life.' i mean, in real life am i given second chances? if i'm late can i hand it in the next day? or just schedule another meeting? if someone upsets me, or if i dont like my boss can i complain to someone else? NO! none of this relates to real life. real life means that you have to be able to know how to fend for yourself. and in high school you are taken care of. my gr12 teachers are all like 'ooo you have to be more responsible blah blah cause we wont give you second chances' not true. ugh i'm just frustrated because of high school in general <_<
anyway eww sorry on ending on such a sour note.
take care lovelies :) i've got tons to do tonite!
lurve,
fatima
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